One of the key themes that’s been surfacing this past year for me has been this concept of freedom through non-attachment, although in all fairness, I’ve mostly been consumed with, and predominantly experiencing the flip side:
suffering through attachment.
As most of you know, when the volcano erupted 8 months ago, it changed the course of our lives forever. It felt like the preverbal rug being pulled out from under me, and I had no choice but to face some of the deepest attachments I’ve ever experienced in my life: the attachment to our beloved land and retreat center that my husband and I built from scratch.
Thankfully our land was spared from the lava, and after quite a traumatic evacuation, we’ve decided to sell.
Despite it being the right decision for us, it’s been an intensely painful process of learning to let go. It’s also been one of the most powerful teachers at the same time, as I’ve been faced with looking deeply at what it means to be attached to something.
I’ve noticed attachments to not only people like my husband and the concept of our marriage, (as we’ve also been in the process of consciously opening our marriage to other people this year…whew!) and places such as our land, and to the obvious valued possessions, but peeling back the layers I’ve noticed attachment to self concepts and self identity, ideas I hold, stories I tell myself…
Heck, going through my bin of clothes yesterday, I’ve noticed attachment to a pair of jeans I’ve had since the 9th grade that I never even wear anymore! (But my mind interjects: What if I do want to wear them again someday?!)
Like, seriously? I thought I was more evolved than that! This shit is deeeeep…and that’s just a pair of jeans….
After many months of grieving the letting go of our land, when I woke up two days ago on my 35th birthday, I felt the energetic shift; I finally and miraculously touched the other side of attachment; which has now become so obvious to me: FREEDOM.
The teaching is that when we let go of our attachment we have the opportunity to experience freedom.
Talk about liberation!
In one sense it feels like these potent life lessons have been thrust upon me through all the divine curveballs life has thrown at me, and yet, I also know these challenges have been exactly the most perfect answers to my deepest prayers.
The prayer I hold for my life is to be FREE and I’ve been deeply exploring what that really means to me.
I feel like our attachments become like weights that hold us down energetically. These tendrils come out of our being with little suction cups that cling to our attachments and we have to invest mental and physical energy to hold onto them, which slowly and subtly drains our life-force.
I think that when we accumulate the density of stuff and things, and then create the mental density of clinging and being afraid to let them go, we create these subtle energy blockages that prevent the full capacity of energy to flow into and through our lives.
Direct Downloads From Ayahuasca
Over the past ten years of working with sacred plant medicines, I keep receiving this same message around lightening my physical and energetic load. As we transition into these times of increasing vibrational frequencies, the less stuff we have weighing us down, the more we can liberate ourselves to move freely, think freely, love freely, and be free.
This sense of attachment through the density of accumulation is just another way we humans love to cling to this solid sense of reality.
And the nuggets of insight that have come to me through all of this is noticing that the more I release attachments for things to be fixed and solid — a certain way of being, the more room there is for me to tap into magic and make room for miracles to unfold. Now that’s the dimension of light-realms I want to live in.
I’ve come to see that attachment really can equal suffering, and the more we can release and let go of these attachments, both big and small, the more we liberate ourselves from the eventual suffering that comes with the moment these things will surely come to pass, as all things eventually do in life, including…us.
Don’t Get Me Wrong…
I’m not saying don’t buy things, or don’t invest in land or invest in your dreams, or hold your loved ones near and dear to your heart…quite the opposite. Do all these things, as I will surely continue to do. But consider how you relate to them.
Hold all of your possessions lightly, and honor your connections of love enough to not possess them at all.
In these times of such rapid change, it might do all of us good to really look at where we’re holding on, and where we might want to start loosening our grip to let go.
Because a clenched fist doesn’t have the capacity to be open to receive.
When we hold on too tightly and we try to keep things a certain way, we’re not able to allow that open flexibility needed to adapt to the changing tides we’re now experiencing more rapidly than ever before.
So this is the process I’m in right now: Project Downsize
As we let go of our retreat center and all the responsibility that went with it, we’re moving into our 40-foot long bus converted into a tiny home, and giving away the majority of our possessions.
I’m feeling this energetic load being lifted from my being and I’m discovering that there’s freedom and liberation through simplicity.
I’m emptying my vessel and freeing my energy to vision into new creations; to tap into new possibilities, as I close this most epic chapter of my life and lay it to rest, I open my hands now to receive the goodness that’s coming next.
So as this has been my inner inquiry, now I’m asking you the same thing:
- What are you ready to release and let go of to lighten your energetic load this year?
- Where can you notice your own attachments and how can you reclaim your personal freedom through the process of letting go?
Music to Move You
There’s a few songs I want to share with you this week. Usually I just share one, but there’s a couple of mantra songs you might enjoy on the theme of releasing and letting go.
The first one is by Alexa Sunshine Rose, (she’s got other wonderful healing medicine music as well). This song is a beautiful mantra of releasing control:
And the last song I want to share is a song I’ve loved singing in ceremony for many years now, and I found this version of it by Kirtan Soul Revival called I release and I let go – which is a little more upbeat than the first two mantra-type songs I linked to.
So as I learn to more fully embody my “Live Free Laura D” tag, and I continue to explore all the dimensions of what it means to “live free”, I leave you with this photo of me in our cute little tiny home bus here on the Big Island of Hawaii.
There’s freedom in simplicity…
From my heart to yours, Live Free, Laura D