May 5th, 2021

Episode #22 of the psychedelic leadership podcast

Ep. 22: The Power of Ho’o’pono’pono & Quantum Healing With Hawaiian Mystic Mahina Nani

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In this episode Laura Dawn speaks with Hawaiian Mystic practitioner Mahina Nani about the ancient wisdom teachings of Ho'o'pono'pono, and how the practice of forgiveness and taking responsibility for our actions can catalyze profound healing in our lives and move us closer to stepping into "right relationship" with ourselves and those around us.

Mahina Nani was born into a bloodline of Ancient Hawaiian Healers that is centuries old and carries the wisdom teachings of Ho’o’pono’pono. 

In this episode of the Psychedelic Leadership Podcast, Mahani shares the meaning of H’o’pono’pono. By learning to take full responsibility for our actions and opening to the power of forgiveness, we can step into “right relationship” with ourselves and those around us. When we have the courage to do this, we can then put an end to intergenerational trauma and experience greater harmonious alignment in our lives. 

This was also a special episode in honor of Mothers Day. My own mother, Lucy joined us for this conversation and after Mahina opens up a ceremonial container and channels a powerful prayer, my mother and I shed many tears of forgiveness as we share a real-time practice of Ho’o’pono’pono. In a tender and vulnerable moment, my mother asks for my forgiveness around a pre-natal birth trauma that was revealed to me in an ayahuasca journey. 

Full Transcript for Episode #22 of the Psychedelic Leadership Podcast featuring Hawaiian Mystic Mahina Nani sharing the Wisdom Teachings of Ho’o’pono’pono

Duration: 1:11:11

Laura Dawn: Without any further ado, here is this special conversation with both Hawaiian-Mystic Mahina Nani and my own mother Lucy. So much gratitude to you both. So welcome Mahina. This is such a special episode you know Mother’s Day is coming up and I’ve been really wanting to weave in this topic of Ho’o’pono’pono for the psychedelic leadership podcast. Especially looking at how we can be weaving in other Wisdom Teachings with the work that we’re doing with plant medicine, as we know you know these powerful substances are also beautiful doorways for opening up deeper levels of healing, especially around forgiveness in our lives, and it’s played a huge role in my life, especially in the work that I’ve done with ayahuasca and other sacred plant medicines and so I’m so grateful to have you on here today and to meet you learn a little bit more about you and to dive into these teachings of Ho’o’pono’pono.

Mahina Nani: Mahalo. It’s really an honor, you know, I just feel like the times are going through, where, you know, the whole Ho’o’pono’pono is really a self-honesty. It’s like you’re really digging in there and going, Wow, if I am this magnificent creator being, then I created this mess. You know, it’s like all of those attachments that we have. And through the Ho’o’pono’pono being passed down for generations and Eons and I really feel like it’s coming from you know the moon grandmothers. And that’s where, you know these teachings are coming into me, is this land, like 40,000 years ago. When we first seeded that. And those ancient teachings of harmony. And whenever you have Ho’o’pono’pono. It’s like to make right your whenever you have the double the Ho’o’pono’pono, it’s like so important to have the tranquil making right. And the only way you can really make it right, is, to be honest, and go I messed up. I’m so sorry.

And even on a bigger level I think for the Hawaiians and the moon and you know we have the Pleiadeans I mean, I’m such a, you know, when they say cultural it’s like, I feel like we’re parts of everything, you know, and that’s what is so amazing about the Hawaiian culture that is really, that’s come through, is they teach about being Quantum. I mean, quantum, it’s actually okay so you know the first part of the whole Ho’o’pono’pono is my divine I love you, which means I am part of every single particle in the universe, all universes all time-space beings right now. So that’s why you can clean that line, because not only working in this time and space, but you’re working to unravel, off to the very beginning. And so that’s why it’s been really put on my heart because you know I’m trying to you know find everyone’s trying to find their way, and I really feel like I don’t want to repeat things and I don’t want to, you know, copy other techniques but it came into my heart the other week and it was like, No, there’s nothing to copy it’s to remember and to remember, or quantum.

Laura Dawn: Hmm, this is just a special episode because I also have my mom on and Lucy has been such a huge inspiration, my mother is so near and dear to my heart and I’ve had some really profound experiences with the practice of Ho’o’pono’pono while working with plant medicines to really go in and, find deeper levels of healing with my own lineage with my own mother my own father. And so, it’s so beautiful to be able to bring my mother on and honor her also for upcoming Mother’s Day and to have you hold space for this process. And before we go into that, so I just love to give you an opportunity to introduce yourself, making and share a little bit about where you come from.

Mahina Nani: So, I was born on a wahoo, and my mom comes from Detroit, so she left in the great you know depression when there were snipers on the roof, and she and her sister got on a Volkswagen when they were 19 and 17 and drove to California. And you know coming from Detroit, it was such a Motown, so you know you had Aretha Franklin singing and so she got to California and she’s like, wait a minute what you know where’s my soul brothers and then she met all these Hawaiians there which was my father, and she’s like, Oh, these are my people. You know and so immediately she came to Hawaii with him, and, on the north shore of Wahoo, you know, it was a beautiful life because it was back in the 60s when no one was there. So, my father, lived in Waimea Valley when he was born with his grandparents. His mother was Hawaiian kupuna, and so you know having so many children, and doing that work. It’s hard to maintain.

And so, I saw that it was hard for her and she dedicated her life to it and my dad, then dedicated his life to it through, you know, teaching us or learning as a child, he could see the tree people and, he would be up in the forest with his grandfather, and they never ate meat. They never had anything that was of an animal because he said you know; you eat the karma of the animal. That was, my grandfather, who was 100%, Filipino, and he said that you know they would do a ceremony. They would always have a ceremony every day was a ceremony, but the full moon and the new moon, and he remembers when he was about eight, nine years old. His grandmother and grandfather actually levitating. And because there were such light beings and they could, you know, they had nothing holding them back.

And he was taught and then when he went to school, he, of course, ate some food, you know, ate some meat and the first day he did he was walking home, and my grandfather was already crying and he’s like you ate it. And my dad you know he’s a young kid, he’s in kindergarten and he’s like, you know, I’m sorry, but it was so instilled in me that we are so part of nature, and he would he helped build the hope layer, and was always part of the culture, always part of, you know, keeping it alive. And he taught us at a very young age to be fearless of the ocean and he was one of the first. The first lifeguards at Waimea Bay with [inaudible19:58] and, you know on the hope layer and so our whole life has been surrounded by the connection of nature and the sharks and the whales and.

Laura Dawn: And for people listening can you share what your name Mahina means

Mahina Nani: Mahina Nani means the beautiful full moon. And that is, you know, the MA Aloha Ma is like a cleansing. It’s almost like birthing the MA, so it’s the MA, the awakening of the Hina, the feminine goddess, that is now awakening throughout, you know, all of our, this whole query of age, you know, they call it the rise of the woman or the rise of the grandmothers and that’s why it’s so important you know working with your mom and working with my mom and all the grandmothers it’s like the truth is, we’re here because of them. You know, they have carried us and nurtured us and when we have those knots because that’s really what that is it’s a knot that gets tied in the cords, you know, we’re all corded emotionally and physically. And those knots get tied up. And we have a state of dis ease, and you know I just came through cancer. Yay I’ve survived cancer and that was, you know, that was such a huge piece of forgiveness. Because I brought up to a state of dis ease. And now, it’s so important that I do these works with women and men to start unraveling this piece of self-abuse and blame.

Laura Dawn: And so, let’s dive into it. What is the translation of Ho’o’pono’pono?

Mahina Nani: Ho’o’pono’pono is the Ho to make, to create, to manifest, and then ‘pono ‘pono, is peace, harmony, pono is a sense of tranquility. So, whenever you have double, it’s like, really important in the Hawaiian language, like, this is not a joke. This is pono pono is just to really make peace, and, you know like I was saying, the Hawaiians, are they really believe that we’re quantum and that we are everywhere at the same time. And like with their sailboats, they wouldn’t when they sail to a new destination, they believe that their boat didn’t move, but the island came to them. So, it’s like that pooling of that piece coming in. And that navigating and so for me, the whole Ho’o’pono’pono is really digging in and going, I’ve messed up. I hurt somebody. And really visualizing that person. So, the first part is you’re going to call on your higher self. It’s all about your higher self. And before we start this ceremony. You know we can do; I can do our prayer and do run through the whole ceremony.

Laura Dawn: Maybe before we get there we could talk about this notion; I’ve heard the translation of Ho’o’pono’pono as in a Ho being like highest alignment and Pono being the right relationship.

Mahina Nani: Well, it’s kind of the same right because the right relationship is that peace. So, it’s actually the harmony then so it’s the peace with your divine masculine and the divine feminine. It’s the peace with your higher self and your physical self. So, it’s a really right relationship with that forgiveness. Because you have made the decisions to hurt somebody or to hurt yourself. And so, what really happens is, my husband had a great analogy of it, like all these cords like say between me and my mother, there’s a knot, there’s literally a knot that’s tied, and that can be as easy created by judgment. You know, it’s so easy you just look in a mirror and you go oh I look terrible. Well, you just judged yourself, and you’ve created a cellular trauma. So, on a cellular level, what happens is when you take full responsibility for this. And then you really visualize the pain, and what it was the word, the thought. And then you really on such a deep level that forgiveness, the knot becomes untied, and the energy can flow. So, you’re not actually cutting cords, you’re cleaning cords you’re cleaning the line so that the mana, the pono can come through that right relationship with you and that person, can now be manifest.

Laura Dawn: And mana, according to the Hawaiian language is?

Mahina Nani: Life-force it’s your God force, it’s your you know, the thing that keeps you alive. I feel like the air is mana. The blood is mana, you know, our thoughts are. But really, it’s our life-force coming from our Creator.

Laura Dawn: When you were raised in a Wahoo. Would you say that from your grandparents and your parents was this really this notion of Ho’o’pono’pono really instilled in the way that you live, did it impact your life as a child growing up?

Mahina Nani: Well, you know it was a hard time in the 60s and, you know, there were so many people rising up and wanting to break out of this mold, you know, and that’s like a lot of the medicines, it’s like that inkling of a higher existence has always been in the Hawaiian Islands and I was there for a year. And then I moved to Hawaii when I was one and a half about and I’m living out here the North Shore So, and then my parents broke up. That was a big one of the forgiveness peace for my mom, you know, I can just imagine what people were going through those times in their lives. And what always affected me is that my parents remained best friends. Until my dad died, all the way to the point where my dad and his family, his new children, and his wife stayed at my house with her husband for my birthday. So, that we always have this really good relationship, and I was taught that from a really young age.

Laura Dawn: And congratulations on beating cancer, you know, that’s such a huge win and would you say that for you. You mentioned that you know it was part of forgiveness is there anything you want to go into deeper like how did these teachings help you heal your body.

Mahina Nani: Oh my gosh so drastically, I mean I had to do a daily, I had to really forgive myself daily because I felt like it was heartache. Because it was on my heart. And it was heartache from generations of not being able to be true to myself. Not being able to be heard. Being afraid of being heard, you know, this is, I’m just beginning to break out of how I feel. And, you know I’m so thankful for you giving me the opportunity because you know the grandmothers are, you know, they’re, like. We don’t have time for this shy and fearful, we have to heal every heart. So, for me, I really was like a catapult. I almost thank cancer for catapulting me out of my state of dis ease because it’s such a collective I mean look at our state of the world. Collectively, we can play in fear. And then collectively we can go within and go, we have everything within.

Laura Dawn: This is the first time I’m hearing really this the association with Ho’o’pono’pono from more of a quantum perspective and I hold the perspective that plant medicines really help us sort of lift these veils of an illusion of the linearity of time and this solid reality that we live in and I totally believe that with the power of prayer and these powerful teachings that we can go in and heal intergenerational trauma that we can heal wounds from our grandmothers, our great grandmother’s our great grandfather’s that live within us, and I’m so curious before we dive into the ceremony if there’s anything you’d like to share really healing backward in time. Is that possible?

Mahina Nani: Well, you know I was just because I feel like I’m relentless in my wanting to help the whole entire earth. I’m constantly going okay how can we do this together. And I felt like it really was put on my heart. These are the keys for, and everybody can do it, you don’t have any certificate, you don’t have to have any training. All you have to do are these five simple steps. Every day and as soon as a person pops into my head because the person who irritates you the most is your lesson for the day. So, you really have to step back. Don’t judge. And go okay I pulled you in and now I’m ready to release this trauma that we are agreeing. Because we are agreeing to do this. So that’s what I think is the quantum part is when you can unravel a great-great grandmother’s pain of murder, rape all of this stuff. You, actually, on the quantum level, you’re unraveling because you can’t change the facts of the action. But you’re unraveling the energy around that soul in that timeline. So, then she is now free in that timeline to have a better possibility of a future timeline, which is my future. So, this is it’s such a, you know if we unravel the past. They now have a possibility to walk an easier road versus a road that has been a death and murder road. So then now my children that are being born, will have a lighter load.

Laura Dawn: One last question before we open the ceremony. I’m just curious, your perspective on these teachings belonging to the Hawaiian tradition and the perspective of also spreading these teachings and more and more white people without any sort of connection to a Hawaiian lineage. Wanting to share these teachings with more people. What your perspective is on that? And what do you think is a good way for these teachings to reach far and wide and also be carried with respect and honor for the traditions from which they came.

Mahina Nani: Well, that’s the thing you know because you have so much racism and I could do this, and you can do that. And when you go into quantum, it’s universal. It’s universal, like you know I could be a white person in this lifetime, but the last lifetime I could have been a Hawaiian chief, you know what I mean. I really have a bigger perspective on, you know, this five D consciousness versus a 3d in a box, you’re from here you can’t do this, but it’s really important to honor the protocol of each culture because it has so many sacred teachings involved. But the one thing about Ho’o’pono’pono is it’s so accessible. When you really get down to it, it’s forgiveness. And it doesn’t even matter who, what, color you can forgive in your heart. And that is the peace that heals the hearts. And then, it binds us. So then now we’re able to help the next person.

Laura Dawn: And one of the things that I think I’ve really learned over the years is that it’s a process and that there’s maybe never really fully arriving. But it becomes more of a way of life, and sometimes it’s the moment to moment where we have to keep forgiving over and over again and it’s not necessarily like okay, I have forgiven you for this and that, like, maybe that’s part of it but then there’s always, it seems like more layers.

Mahina Nani: There’s always, that’s the journey, I mean if we’re done, we’re out of here. But we are not done. No, sometimes, you know when I and my husband would get in a fight. He would do Ho’o’pono’pono on me 20 times a day. And I’d be like, Wow. No wonder I feel so good. You know that’s the part but also really quick. So, Dr. Lam is the, who was on a Wahoo and he wrote the book called Zero Point. Which really explains Ho’o’pono’pono. And all the way to he was. I don’t know if he was, you know, he worked in the, I want to say a mental institute or you know the facility on a Wahoo, and he wouldn’t even see his patients he’d take their chart. He’d look at their picture. And these are people who have schizophrenia, you know, bipolar like really deep traumas in their lives, obviously they are in the hospital. And he would heal them, and they would be healed, and they would leave the hospital, and a whole section of the hospital was emptied out on the Ho’o’pono’pono teachings. No medicine, no miracle, well it’s a miracle but he actually you know describes it in his book. How he unraveled all their trauma so that they can become into a normal state of being. Go out into the world and exist in that harmony, versus that traumatic, you know, people are looking at me, I’m hearing voices and what people go through.

Laura Dawn: And do you think that the teachings also point toward the path of like okay they are showing you. There’s like illumination around where I’m out of alignment where I’m not in the right relationship, but then what, then what happens, you know, of like what is the next step after, to get back into the right relationship?

Mahina Nani: It is that truth. Am I ready to stop blaming this person? Because we play the victim. Now it’s the trauma well it’s the victim, the villain, and the hero. Round and round we go. So, it’s really saying hey I’ve played all the parts, and I’m ready to clean this whole universe, this time frame. We’re ready. You know, I’ve never seen so many people go, Hey, I’m ready. I don’t want to make mistakes anymore. I want to get healthy, I want to, you know, heal my dis ease.

Laura Dawn: That’s why these teachers are so, so important for right now especially.

Mahina Nani: They really are, they really are. I feel like that is the best and through this ceremony. It’s one of those things where you can just replay the ceremony and redo it in your heart in your mind, over and over again.

Laura Dawn: So, it’s really sweet, we’re going to have like a real-time ceremony here with my mama, Lucy.

Mahina Nani: I’m going to clear the energy really quick, with my flute. And then I will go into prayer and then I’ll just jump right in and you know just opening your heart. And here we go. Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe.

[Flute36:44-37:32]

Mahina Nani: Opening your root chakra. Feeling the mother earth just kissing you. Opening your crown chakra. Just a mile wide, just that beautiful crystal lotus. Feeling the sun from the grandfathers coming into your temples, coming into your crown. Like honey. And it nourishes your body and moves through your heart. Moves through the lines of radians, gently nourishing, feeling it down into your stomach, and as it goes through your womb and through your root chakra into the earth into the mother. You feel her receiving the father’s love. And through the breath, you’re breathing it in. Exhaling it out to the mother, and then really breathing in the mother, all of her nourishing healing green, violet rainbow energies through your body through your womb, and out your crown to the Father, sharing beautifully, and realizing that this body, this amazing avatar is actually the kiss of heaven and earth. Then it’s those vibrant quantum particles that were made up, of a combination.

[Ceremony 39:22-41:31]

Mahina Nani: We call upon our highest and greatest self, our highest and greatest being that we are. We call upon you, we asked that you fill us to the brim. Speak through us, hear through us, love through us, forgive through us, breathe through us, do battle through us do all things through us and to us. We call upon all of our mighty ancestors our glorious ancestors our glorious mothers and fathers, every being that has played a part for us to be alive right now. We call upon you all of our galactic families. The Arch Angels. The Quantum beings, the light beings. The dark beings all of the rainbow beings that exist, in time and space, have played a part in our journey.

We call upon you right now. And we humbly ask that you cleanse and purify our hearts. Cleanse and purify your minds, cleanse and purify our spirits, cleanse and purify our souls, so that we can be as one with you. So, we can release everything that no longer serves. And we can be our true is highest brightest, awakened activated self. Feel that, know that you are capable of this. At this moment, in this time, because only right now exists. And I humbly ask grandmother that you will forgive me. you will please forgive me for every word. I have spoken of harm, every curse that I have spoken. Every thought of distortion that I have manifested. Please forgive me for every action that hurt you on all levels, from micro to macro, every murder, every obstruction of peace. Every harm of love every distorted manipulation that I have ever done to you, great grandmother, please forgive me, I am truly sorry. And I forgive you, grandmother. I forgive you. For abandoning me, for abusing me, for lying to me, for giving me false hope, for the pain, that is stored in me, from you. I forgive you.

I forgive you. For unknown atrocities. For unforgiven atrocities, I forgive you on all levels. I forgive all grandmothers. Going back from the time before time. To the very first seeding of this earth. I forgive you for anything that has affected me in a negative way. And I love you and I honor you. And I miss you. I release you through my tears, I release you through my joy. I release you through all my works, so that I may be free, to be honest, and true, and aware, and not distracted. But to be a true relationship, with my highest self and true relationship with you, grandmothers, and grandfathers. So that as I walk now until forever. I’m able to navigate. I’m able to be a sovereign being. Through my steps, through my actions. And all-time space, frequency, and highest energy. And I rejoice in this love. And I rejoice in this release, that is created here today on all levels. Feel that like a rainbow and a waterfall that washes through you, and moves through your veins, and you feel your life force pumping from them to you freely and abundant and magnificently. This is [inaudible49:08]. This is the earth, the Father, the Son, the children. This is how we begin to create our highest and greatest evolution, just feel it, just know it. Just breathe it. This is home.

[Flute49:45-51:18]

Mahina Nani: The prayer is lifted and sent out.

Laura Dawn: Mahalo,

Mahina Nani: How do you feel?

Laura Dawn: Tranquil just receiving that prayer, it’s beautiful.

Mahina Nani: Yeah, you could feel the unraveling, the unbending.

Laura Dawn: I’ve heard that the I’m sorry, is that a part of the traditional Hawaiian prayer, I’ve heard some people say that I’m sorry is not part of the you know, thank you. I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me, I forgive you, bless you.

Mahina Nani: So, when I do it, I didn’t like it, because you can do this without the person present. So that’s really going okay everything you’ve done to me. I forgive you. That, you know, on such a soul level that sorry, is taking responsibility. So, I take, I’m one so the first thing you have to do is go quantum I love you my divine and really pulling in that higher self so when you work with, you really want to pull in your higher self for both you, first thing first step, the second step is really taking the ability for every single action. And then when you go in and you say, Mom, please forgive me for A to Z, and really feeling it because there are so many things, we do that we don’t even know. So please forgive me for things seen and unseen, known and unknown, like, you can go into detail. If you have the time and space right then really when they do your turn and you feel the pain, you have to remember what it felt like so that you can let it go. And then I love you. And thank you, really thanking you, and you know it’s really the thankful piece like thank you for showing up. Thank you for being in my life and teaching me the biggest lessons of my life, because that’s what.

Laura Dawn: And so, do you have a preferred sequence that you like to run through.

Mahina Nani: Yeah. My Divine, I love you, I take full responsibility. But as you heard through this ceremony, I take my time through each one. But yes, I take full responsibility. Please forgive me. I forgive you. I love you. I release you.

Laura Dawn: It’s amazing to see the different sort of variations of it that I’ve seen. And the beautiful different ways that I like that, I like ending with I release you. Yeah, I’d love to run through some of this with my mother, so I’m going to start and then I’m going to take you off mute mom, I guess. Gosh, I’m already crying. I do love you so much. So maybe that’s the best place to start is I love you and I just want to say thank you for all that you’ve given me. Thank you for being such an amazing role model in my life, and for staying so positive and just always looking at the bright side of things when things are so hard for you. Thank you for teaching me what it means to persevere and to hold a vision and to follow through on that you know you’ve inspired me so much. To see you go from no education with four children, to getting yourself through school and through rising above so much adversity. And I am so genuinely sorry for the hell that I put you through. And resentment that I was carrying in my earlier years because I felt like you weren’t there, but I understand that you were taking care of what you needed to, ultimately for us. And I’m sorry for the anger that I held towards you, and I’m so grateful that, that we moved through that really challenging time when I was younger.

Thank you for always telling me that you trusted my judgment and thank you for instilling me with radical responsibility from such a young age, for teaching me how to be independent in my life, and for teaching me that I’m capable of living whatever life, I truly want to be living. Forgive me for all the ways that I caused you harm. And all the nights that I know you’ve stayed up worrying about me, I’m sorry, please forgive me for all those sleepless nights. For the ways that I hurt you knowingly and unknowingly. And I forgive you. I forgive you for not being there. All the time that I need you to be there. I forgive you for staying with dad when I knew that that wasn’t the best choice for you and feeling angry at you for choosing to stay with him, instead of having the courage to leave. I forgive you for just the anger that I felt when I felt like you weren’t owning yourself worth. I love you so much. I forgive you for all the ways that you’ve harmed and unknowingly harmed me in my life and all the. Just all the way. I have so much forgiveness for you. And so much love for you so much gratitude for you in my life. And I release you. And I’m so grateful to have love in your life in a way that feels good and nourishing to you. And I hold the prayer and just hold the vision that you know you spend the rest of your life and the rest of your years on this planet, in peace. And I’m complete.

Lucy Dawn (Mom): Okay. There are only 4 people on this earth who are able to call me mother. And I just take such a deep honor. You are the fourth child, and when I was pregnant with you. Amy was still a baby. She was about a year old. We didn’t have any money; your father didn’t have a job. And we were living with the gram and grandpa. And I was ashamed and embarrassed. I was just mortified that a child would not feel wanted and I was just heartbroken because I felt at that time that it wasn’t going to be possible, and it’s one of my deepest regrets. I’d like to say that you wanted and needed to be born. And you pushed your way into this world, I didn’t push you, you pushed your way into this world. And you have been a teacher for me since the very first time I laid eyes on you and you made your way into our family. And when you were an infant a newborn you were quiet.

You didn’t cry very much. You didn’t cause too much commotion and I felt like it was because you knew that we were all just kind of hanging on by our fingernails. As you were the third child that I had in four and a half years. So, there were many, many things, many things going on. So, I would like you to forgive me for that. There were times that I felt that I just, it wasn’t because it was you, it was just, I just felt like I couldn’t handle the responsibility. The extra pressure. All those, all those, all those things. So, I want you to forgive me for that. I know that you’ve struggled with that from time to time. And, of course, once you were a known entity to me and to us and to your brothers and to your sister. Well, when there was no going back to me and we’ve made it through that, so I want you to forgive me for that because I feel like the things that I did that needed forgiving happened even before you were born.

Laura Dawn: You know, I just want to share that, you know Mahina, when I had a powerful ceremony where I went into like some really core trauma, around, just not belonging, and I called my mother after that ceremony, the next day and she told me for the first time I really asked her, you know like what is there, and she told me for the first time that she was planning on aborting me and there was a moment she went into the clinic, and she went to abort me, and then decided to keep me, and it was through the plant medicines that really going into that, that memory of it, and I knew something was there but it was the first time I’d never known that, that story. And so, I have been working around that place of forgiving you for that. The plant medicines have really helped me and some of these prayers of Ho’o’pono’pono.

Lucy Dawn (Mom): I also want you to forgive me for not being present for you in many ways. When I decided to go back to school and did all of that and when I was struggling with my marriage and all the energy that took up and it took away from all of you. Yeah, it was, we were all pretty much on our own floating on a life raft, that we are all in our own quarters. And, you know, but so that definitely makes me sad because I can’t go back and fix it. I can’t go back and reclaim that time. And so, I’m asking you to forgive me for that. And for all the things that I’ve done. The judgments, that as you said the things seen and unseen, the thoughts, the criticisms. So, the thing that I want you to know that I feel angry and it’s worst that you’re so far away. I haven’t seen you, I don’t even know when was the last time I’ve seen you in the flesh. In front of me, I missed you, my arms miss you. My body misses you. So many times, I feel like there’s a ghost in our family because whenever we get together, you’re not there.

It’s very interesting Mahina because my mother, we talk about generational trauma, my mother had a similar experience with my sister. My sister moved far away, and she was never, ever, ever a part of my family and our family, and my mother always had this little sadness in her she was able to be happy and she enjoyed our presence but there was always a little piece of sadness that our family wasn’t always together. Or wasn’t together.

But I do feel that I would rather you be away and living the life that you want to live than being here and not living the life that you want to live. So, I accept that. I accept it. And I do, I do accept it, it’s part of our relationship, it’s part of our experience. I’m just so proud of you, you taught me so, so, so, so much. You’ve taught me that you can, create what you want in life, you can create the life that you want, and that we are free to do that if we choose that. And so, I’m very grateful for that and it impacts my life on a daily basis.

So, I do, I love you. You know that. And I do release you from things that have happened in the past, I’m kind of grateful to only learned about some of the stuff that you did. Well, when you’re well into your adult years. So, I kind of released myself from that knowledge. But I love you and I release you, and I am blessed to know that you release me. And I thank you, I thank you for who you are. Amen.

Laura Dawn: I do forgive you. I do forgive you for all of those. Those things so I’m in that place of belonging in my own heart. Thank you. Mahina, would you like to add anything?

Mahina Nani: Thank you guys for opening your hearts to each other. You just feel the release and you feel the energy that is now pumping through both of you. And it’s so beautiful to witness. You guys, tears of happiness and I want to go downstairs right now and talk to my mom. Because we just thrash each other. Thank you both for showing up and doing this work, because it just ripples out to all the generations [inaudible1:08:22]. You know, we don’t want to survive anymore, we want to thrive. And this. We’re all part of the soul groups. And we have to honor each member in a soul group.

Laura Dawn: Thank you. Thank you for your time. I really appreciate you and the teachings you carry and I’m so grateful for these teachings too, they played such a big role in my life, as well.

Mahina Nani: Yeah, for sure. So, really quick so if you do it with like a group of people most times, we hope. And when somebody talks, because it was like a problem that comes up and you know the person with the problem has to, you know, they have the floor so nobody can interrupt them. And then when they talk straight to the person, you know, please forgive me and then yeah right there they go yes, I forgive you. So, it’s an answering right back. And then you pour out your heart, and they’re able to forgive you, just how you guys work so it’s perfect and beautiful. Good job.

Laura Dawn: Thank you. This was sweet. Mahalo. Mahalo. Yeah, there’s a different kind of podcast episode, going out on this one.

Mahina Nani: You guys make me happy I’m like okay this is it. Let’s do this.

Laura Dawn: Oh, so sweet. All right.

Mahina Nani: Okay, I’ll talk to you soon.

Laura Dawn: All right. Aloha.

Hi friends, thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of the psychedelic leadership podcast. This truly felt like a special one. And I just want to say thank you to my mom for having the courage to come and share in this Ho’o’pono’pono practice with me. And I also want to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas out there doing such an amazing job raising these future generations, and I don’t think I’m ever going to be a mother. On this path, I don’t think that that’s my path. But I have so much respect for women who do choose that. And if you’d like to be in touch with me, please feel free to reach out through my website live free Laura D dot com or send me a message on Instagram at live free Laura D. I’d love for you to tune in to the weekly conversations that we’re hosting on Clubhouse and you can find me at, you guessed it, live free Laura D. I’m going to leave you with this really special song that feels like a perfect fit for ending today’s episode called Ho’o’pono’pono by my dear sister, Mary ISIS. Once again, my name is Laura Dawn, and you’re listening to the psychedelic leadership podcast. Until next time.

Full Transcript for Episode #22 of the Psychedelic Leadership Podcast featuring Hawaiian Mystic Mahina Nani sharing the Wisdom Teachings of Ho’o’pono’pono

Duration: 1:11:11

Laura Dawn: Without any further ado, here is this special conversation with both Hawaiian-Mystic Mahina Nani and my own mother Lucy. So much gratitude to you both. So welcome Mahina. This is such a special episode you know Mother’s Day is coming up and I’ve been really wanting to weave in this topic of Ho’o’pono’pono for the psychedelic leadership podcast. Especially looking at how we can be weaving in other Wisdom Teachings with the work that we’re doing with plant medicine, as we know you know these powerful substances are also beautiful doorways for opening up deeper levels of healing, especially around forgiveness in our lives, and it’s played a huge role in my life, especially in the work that I’ve done with ayahuasca and other sacred plant medicines and so I’m so grateful to have you on here today and to meet you learn a little bit more about you and to dive into these teachings of Ho’o’pono’pono.

Mahina Nani: Mahalo. It’s really an honor, you know, I just feel like the times are going through, where, you know, the whole Ho’o’pono’pono is really a self-honesty. It’s like you’re really digging in there and going, Wow, if I am this magnificent creator being, then I created this mess. You know, it’s like all of those attachments that we have. And through the Ho’o’pono’pono being passed down for generations and Eons and I really feel like it’s coming from you know the moon grandmothers. And that’s where, you know these teachings are coming into me, is this land, like 40,000 years ago. When we first seeded that. And those ancient teachings of harmony. And whenever you have Ho’o’pono’pono. It’s like to make right your whenever you have the double the Ho’o’pono’pono, it’s like so important to have the tranquil making right. And the only way you can really make it right, is, to be honest, and go I messed up. I’m so sorry.

And even on a bigger level I think for the Hawaiians and the moon and you know we have the Pleiadeans I mean, I’m such a, you know, when they say cultural it’s like, I feel like we’re parts of everything, you know, and that’s what is so amazing about the Hawaiian culture that is really, that’s come through, is they teach about being Quantum. I mean, quantum, it’s actually okay so you know the first part of the whole Ho’o’pono’pono is my divine I love you, which means I am part of every single particle in the universe, all universes all time-space beings right now. So that’s why you can clean that line, because not only working in this time and space, but you’re working to unravel, off to the very beginning. And so that’s why it’s been really put on my heart because you know I’m trying to you know find everyone’s trying to find their way, and I really feel like I don’t want to repeat things and I don’t want to, you know, copy other techniques but it came into my heart the other week and it was like, No, there’s nothing to copy it’s to remember and to remember, or quantum.

Laura Dawn: Hmm, this is just a special episode because I also have my mom on and Lucy has been such a huge inspiration, my mother is so near and dear to my heart and I’ve had some really profound experiences with the practice of Ho’o’pono’pono while working with plant medicines to really go in and, find deeper levels of healing with my own lineage with my own mother my own father. And so, it’s so beautiful to be able to bring my mother on and honor her also for upcoming Mother’s Day and to have you hold space for this process. And before we go into that, so I just love to give you an opportunity to introduce yourself, making and share a little bit about where you come from.

Mahina Nani: So, I was born on a wahoo, and my mom comes from Detroit, so she left in the great you know depression when there were snipers on the roof, and she and her sister got on a Volkswagen when they were 19 and 17 and drove to California. And you know coming from Detroit, it was such a Motown, so you know you had Aretha Franklin singing and so she got to California and she’s like, wait a minute what you know where’s my soul brothers and then she met all these Hawaiians there which was my father, and she’s like, Oh, these are my people. You know and so immediately she came to Hawaii with him, and, on the north shore of Wahoo, you know, it was a beautiful life because it was back in the 60s when no one was there. So, my father, lived in Waimea Valley when he was born with his grandparents. His mother was Hawaiian kupuna, and so you know having so many children, and doing that work. It’s hard to maintain.

And so, I saw that it was hard for her and she dedicated her life to it and my dad, then dedicated his life to it through, you know, teaching us or learning as a child, he could see the tree people and, he would be up in the forest with his grandfather, and they never ate meat. They never had anything that was of an animal because he said you know; you eat the karma of the animal. That was, my grandfather, who was 100%, Filipino, and he said that you know they would do a ceremony. They would always have a ceremony every day was a ceremony, but the full moon and the new moon, and he remembers when he was about eight, nine years old. His grandmother and grandfather actually levitating. And because there were such light beings and they could, you know, they had nothing holding them back.

And he was taught and then when he went to school, he, of course, ate some food, you know, ate some meat and the first day he did he was walking home, and my grandfather was already crying and he’s like you ate it. And my dad you know he’s a young kid, he’s in kindergarten and he’s like, you know, I’m sorry, but it was so instilled in me that we are so part of nature, and he would he helped build the hope layer, and was always part of the culture, always part of, you know, keeping it alive. And he taught us at a very young age to be fearless of the ocean and he was one of the first. The first lifeguards at Waimea Bay with [inaudible19:58] and, you know on the hope layer and so our whole life has been surrounded by the connection of nature and the sharks and the whales and.

Laura Dawn: And for people listening can you share what your name Mahina means

Mahina Nani: Mahina Nani means the beautiful full moon. And that is, you know, the MA Aloha Ma is like a cleansing. It’s almost like birthing the MA, so it’s the MA, the awakening of the Hina, the feminine goddess, that is now awakening throughout, you know, all of our, this whole query of age, you know, they call it the rise of the woman or the rise of the grandmothers and that’s why it’s so important you know working with your mom and working with my mom and all the grandmothers it’s like the truth is, we’re here because of them. You know, they have carried us and nurtured us and when we have those knots because that’s really what that is it’s a knot that gets tied in the cords, you know, we’re all corded emotionally and physically. And those knots get tied up. And we have a state of dis ease, and you know I just came through cancer. Yay I’ve survived cancer and that was, you know, that was such a huge piece of forgiveness. Because I brought up to a state of dis ease. And now, it’s so important that I do these works with women and men to start unraveling this piece of self-abuse and blame.

Laura Dawn: And so, let’s dive into it. What is the translation of Ho’o’pono’pono?

Mahina Nani: Ho’o’pono’pono is the Ho to make, to create, to manifest, and then ‘pono ‘pono, is peace, harmony, pono is a sense of tranquility. So, whenever you have double, it’s like, really important in the Hawaiian language, like, this is not a joke. This is pono pono is just to really make peace, and, you know like I was saying, the Hawaiians, are they really believe that we’re quantum and that we are everywhere at the same time. And like with their sailboats, they wouldn’t when they sail to a new destination, they believe that their boat didn’t move, but the island came to them. So, it’s like that pooling of that piece coming in. And that navigating and so for me, the whole Ho’o’pono’pono is really digging in and going, I’ve messed up. I hurt somebody. And really visualizing that person. So, the first part is you’re going to call on your higher self. It’s all about your higher self. And before we start this ceremony. You know we can do; I can do our prayer and do run through the whole ceremony.

Laura Dawn: Maybe before we get there we could talk about this notion; I’ve heard the translation of Ho’o’pono’pono as in a Ho being like highest alignment and Pono being the right relationship.

Mahina Nani: Well, it’s kind of the same right because the right relationship is that peace. So, it’s actually the harmony then so it’s the peace with your divine masculine and the divine feminine. It’s the peace with your higher self and your physical self. So, it’s a really right relationship with that forgiveness. Because you have made the decisions to hurt somebody or to hurt yourself. And so, what really happens is, my husband had a great analogy of it, like all these cords like say between me and my mother, there’s a knot, there’s literally a knot that’s tied, and that can be as easy created by judgment. You know, it’s so easy you just look in a mirror and you go oh I look terrible. Well, you just judged yourself, and you’ve created a cellular trauma. So, on a cellular level, what happens is when you take full responsibility for this. And then you really visualize the pain, and what it was the word, the thought. And then you really on such a deep level that forgiveness, the knot becomes untied, and the energy can flow. So, you’re not actually cutting cords, you’re cleaning cords you’re cleaning the line so that the mana, the pono can come through that right relationship with you and that person, can now be manifest.

Laura Dawn: And mana, according to the Hawaiian language is?

Mahina Nani: Life-force it’s your God force, it’s your you know, the thing that keeps you alive. I feel like the air is mana. The blood is mana, you know, our thoughts are. But really, it’s our life-force coming from our Creator.

Laura Dawn: When you were raised in a Wahoo. Would you say that from your grandparents and your parents was this really this notion of Ho’o’pono’pono really instilled in the way that you live, did it impact your life as a child growing up?

Mahina Nani: Well, you know it was a hard time in the 60s and, you know, there were so many people rising up and wanting to break out of this mold, you know, and that’s like a lot of the medicines, it’s like that inkling of a higher existence has always been in the Hawaiian Islands and I was there for a year. And then I moved to Hawaii when I was one and a half about and I’m living out here the North Shore So, and then my parents broke up. That was a big one of the forgiveness peace for my mom, you know, I can just imagine what people were going through those times in their lives. And what always affected me is that my parents remained best friends. Until my dad died, all the way to the point where my dad and his family, his new children, and his wife stayed at my house with her husband for my birthday. So, that we always have this really good relationship, and I was taught that from a really young age.

Laura Dawn: And congratulations on beating cancer, you know, that’s such a huge win and would you say that for you. You mentioned that you know it was part of forgiveness is there anything you want to go into deeper like how did these teachings help you heal your body.

Mahina Nani: Oh my gosh so drastically, I mean I had to do a daily, I had to really forgive myself daily because I felt like it was heartache. Because it was on my heart. And it was heartache from generations of not being able to be true to myself. Not being able to be heard. Being afraid of being heard, you know, this is, I’m just beginning to break out of how I feel. And, you know I’m so thankful for you giving me the opportunity because you know the grandmothers are, you know, they’re, like. We don’t have time for this shy and fearful, we have to heal every heart. So, for me, I really was like a catapult. I almost thank cancer for catapulting me out of my state of dis ease because it’s such a collective I mean look at our state of the world. Collectively, we can play in fear. And then collectively we can go within and go, we have everything within.

Laura Dawn: This is the first time I’m hearing really this the association with Ho’o’pono’pono from more of a quantum perspective and I hold the perspective that plant medicines really help us sort of lift these veils of an illusion of the linearity of time and this solid reality that we live in and I totally believe that with the power of prayer and these powerful teachings that we can go in and heal intergenerational trauma that we can heal wounds from our grandmothers, our great grandmother’s our great grandfather’s that live within us, and I’m so curious before we dive into the ceremony if there’s anything you’d like to share really healing backward in time. Is that possible?

Mahina Nani: Well, you know I was just because I feel like I’m relentless in my wanting to help the whole entire earth. I’m constantly going okay how can we do this together. And I felt like it really was put on my heart. These are the keys for, and everybody can do it, you don’t have any certificate, you don’t have to have any training. All you have to do are these five simple steps. Every day and as soon as a person pops into my head because the person who irritates you the most is your lesson for the day. So, you really have to step back. Don’t judge. And go okay I pulled you in and now I’m ready to release this trauma that we are agreeing. Because we are agreeing to do this. So that’s what I think is the quantum part is when you can unravel a great-great grandmother’s pain of murder, rape all of this stuff. You, actually, on the quantum level, you’re unraveling because you can’t change the facts of the action. But you’re unraveling the energy around that soul in that timeline. So, then she is now free in that timeline to have a better possibility of a future timeline, which is my future. So, this is it’s such a, you know if we unravel the past. They now have a possibility to walk an easier road versus a road that has been a death and murder road. So then now my children that are being born, will have a lighter load.

Laura Dawn: One last question before we open the ceremony. I’m just curious, your perspective on these teachings belonging to the Hawaiian tradition and the perspective of also spreading these teachings and more and more white people without any sort of connection to a Hawaiian lineage. Wanting to share these teachings with more people. What your perspective is on that? And what do you think is a good way for these teachings to reach far and wide and also be carried with respect and honor for the traditions from which they came.

Mahina Nani: Well, that’s the thing you know because you have so much racism and I could do this, and you can do that. And when you go into quantum, it’s universal. It’s universal, like you know I could be a white person in this lifetime, but the last lifetime I could have been a Hawaiian chief, you know what I mean. I really have a bigger perspective on, you know, this five D consciousness versus a 3d in a box, you’re from here you can’t do this, but it’s really important to honor the protocol of each culture because it has so many sacred teachings involved. But the one thing about Ho’o’pono’pono is it’s so accessible. When you really get down to it, it’s forgiveness. And it doesn’t even matter who, what, color you can forgive in your heart. And that is the peace that heals the hearts. And then, it binds us. So then now we’re able to help the next person.

Laura Dawn: And one of the things that I think I’ve really learned over the years is that it’s a process and that there’s maybe never really fully arriving. But it becomes more of a way of life, and sometimes it’s the moment to moment where we have to keep forgiving over and over again and it’s not necessarily like okay, I have forgiven you for this and that, like, maybe that’s part of it but then there’s always, it seems like more layers.

Mahina Nani: There’s always, that’s the journey, I mean if we’re done, we’re out of here. But we are not done. No, sometimes, you know when I and my husband would get in a fight. He would do Ho’o’pono’pono on me 20 times a day. And I’d be like, Wow. No wonder I feel so good. You know that’s the part but also really quick. So, Dr. Lam is the, who was on a Wahoo and he wrote the book called Zero Point. Which really explains Ho’o’pono’pono. And all the way to he was. I don’t know if he was, you know, he worked in the, I want to say a mental institute or you know the facility on a Wahoo, and he wouldn’t even see his patients he’d take their chart. He’d look at their picture. And these are people who have schizophrenia, you know, bipolar like really deep traumas in their lives, obviously they are in the hospital. And he would heal them, and they would be healed, and they would leave the hospital, and a whole section of the hospital was emptied out on the Ho’o’pono’pono teachings. No medicine, no miracle, well it’s a miracle but he actually you know describes it in his book. How he unraveled all their trauma so that they can become into a normal state of being. Go out into the world and exist in that harmony, versus that traumatic, you know, people are looking at me, I’m hearing voices and what people go through.

Laura Dawn: And do you think that the teachings also point toward the path of like okay they are showing you. There’s like illumination around where I’m out of alignment where I’m not in the right relationship, but then what, then what happens, you know, of like what is the next step after, to get back into the right relationship?

Mahina Nani: It is that truth. Am I ready to stop blaming this person? Because we play the victim. Now it’s the trauma well it’s the victim, the villain, and the hero. Round and round we go. So, it’s really saying hey I’ve played all the parts, and I’m ready to clean this whole universe, this time frame. We’re ready. You know, I’ve never seen so many people go, Hey, I’m ready. I don’t want to make mistakes anymore. I want to get healthy, I want to, you know, heal my dis ease.

Laura Dawn: That’s why these teachers are so, so important for right now especially.

Mahina Nani: They really are, they really are. I feel like that is the best and through this ceremony. It’s one of those things where you can just replay the ceremony and redo it in your heart in your mind, over and over again.

Laura Dawn: So, it’s really sweet, we’re going to have like a real-time ceremony here with my mama, Lucy.

Mahina Nani: I’m going to clear the energy really quick, with my flute. And then I will go into prayer and then I’ll just jump right in and you know just opening your heart. And here we go. Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe.

[Flute36:44-37:32]

Mahina Nani: Opening your root chakra. Feeling the mother earth just kissing you. Opening your crown chakra. Just a mile wide, just that beautiful crystal lotus. Feeling the sun from the grandfathers coming into your temples, coming into your crown. Like honey. And it nourishes your body and moves through your heart. Moves through the lines of radians, gently nourishing, feeling it down into your stomach, and as it goes through your womb and through your root chakra into the earth into the mother. You feel her receiving the father’s love. And through the breath, you’re breathing it in. Exhaling it out to the mother, and then really breathing in the mother, all of her nourishing healing green, violet rainbow energies through your body through your womb, and out your crown to the Father, sharing beautifully, and realizing that this body, this amazing avatar is actually the kiss of heaven and earth. Then it’s those vibrant quantum particles that were made up, of a combination.

[Ceremony 39:22-41:31]

Mahina Nani: We call upon our highest and greatest self, our highest and greatest being that we are. We call upon you, we asked that you fill us to the brim. Speak through us, hear through us, love through us, forgive through us, breathe through us, do battle through us do all things through us and to us. We call upon all of our mighty ancestors our glorious ancestors our glorious mothers and fathers, every being that has played a part for us to be alive right now. We call upon you all of our galactic families. The Arch Angels. The Quantum beings, the light beings. The dark beings all of the rainbow beings that exist, in time and space, have played a part in our journey.

We call upon you right now. And we humbly ask that you cleanse and purify our hearts. Cleanse and purify your minds, cleanse and purify our spirits, cleanse and purify our souls, so that we can be as one with you. So, we can release everything that no longer serves. And we can be our true is highest brightest, awakened activated self. Feel that, know that you are capable of this. At this moment, in this time, because only right now exists. And I humbly ask grandmother that you will forgive me. you will please forgive me for every word. I have spoken of harm, every curse that I have spoken. Every thought of distortion that I have manifested. Please forgive me for every action that hurt you on all levels, from micro to macro, every murder, every obstruction of peace. Every harm of love every distorted manipulation that I have ever done to you, great grandmother, please forgive me, I am truly sorry. And I forgive you, grandmother. I forgive you. For abandoning me, for abusing me, for lying to me, for giving me false hope, for the pain, that is stored in me, from you. I forgive you.

I forgive you. For unknown atrocities. For unforgiven atrocities, I forgive you on all levels. I forgive all grandmothers. Going back from the time before time. To the very first seeding of this earth. I forgive you for anything that has affected me in a negative way. And I love you and I honor you. And I miss you. I release you through my tears, I release you through my joy. I release you through all my works, so that I may be free, to be honest, and true, and aware, and not distracted. But to be a true relationship, with my highest self and true relationship with you, grandmothers, and grandfathers. So that as I walk now until forever. I’m able to navigate. I’m able to be a sovereign being. Through my steps, through my actions. And all-time space, frequency, and highest energy. And I rejoice in this love. And I rejoice in this release, that is created here today on all levels. Feel that like a rainbow and a waterfall that washes through you, and moves through your veins, and you feel your life force pumping from them to you freely and abundant and magnificently. This is [inaudible49:08]. This is the earth, the Father, the Son, the children. This is how we begin to create our highest and greatest evolution, just feel it, just know it. Just breathe it. This is home.

[Flute49:45-51:18]

Mahina Nani: The prayer is lifted and sent out.

Laura Dawn: Mahalo,

Mahina Nani: How do you feel?

Laura Dawn: Tranquil just receiving that prayer, it’s beautiful.

Mahina Nani: Yeah, you could feel the unraveling, the unbending.

Laura Dawn: I’ve heard that the I’m sorry, is that a part of the traditional Hawaiian prayer, I’ve heard some people say that I’m sorry is not part of the you know, thank you. I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me, I forgive you, bless you.

Mahina Nani: So, when I do it, I didn’t like it, because you can do this without the person present. So that’s really going okay everything you’ve done to me. I forgive you. That, you know, on such a soul level that sorry, is taking responsibility. So, I take, I’m one so the first thing you have to do is go quantum I love you my divine and really pulling in that higher self so when you work with, you really want to pull in your higher self for both you, first thing first step, the second step is really taking the ability for every single action. And then when you go in and you say, Mom, please forgive me for A to Z, and really feeling it because there are so many things, we do that we don’t even know. So please forgive me for things seen and unseen, known and unknown, like, you can go into detail. If you have the time and space right then really when they do your turn and you feel the pain, you have to remember what it felt like so that you can let it go. And then I love you. And thank you, really thanking you, and you know it’s really the thankful piece like thank you for showing up. Thank you for being in my life and teaching me the biggest lessons of my life, because that’s what.

Laura Dawn: And so, do you have a preferred sequence that you like to run through.

Mahina Nani: Yeah. My Divine, I love you, I take full responsibility. But as you heard through this ceremony, I take my time through each one. But yes, I take full responsibility. Please forgive me. I forgive you. I love you. I release you.

Laura Dawn: It’s amazing to see the different sort of variations of it that I’ve seen. And the beautiful different ways that I like that, I like ending with I release you. Yeah, I’d love to run through some of this with my mother, so I’m going to start and then I’m going to take you off mute mom, I guess. Gosh, I’m already crying. I do love you so much. So maybe that’s the best place to start is I love you and I just want to say thank you for all that you’ve given me. Thank you for being such an amazing role model in my life, and for staying so positive and just always looking at the bright side of things when things are so hard for you. Thank you for teaching me what it means to persevere and to hold a vision and to follow through on that you know you’ve inspired me so much. To see you go from no education with four children, to getting yourself through school and through rising above so much adversity. And I am so genuinely sorry for the hell that I put you through. And resentment that I was carrying in my earlier years because I felt like you weren’t there, but I understand that you were taking care of what you needed to, ultimately for us. And I’m sorry for the anger that I held towards you, and I’m so grateful that, that we moved through that really challenging time when I was younger.

Thank you for always telling me that you trusted my judgment and thank you for instilling me with radical responsibility from such a young age, for teaching me how to be independent in my life, and for teaching me that I’m capable of living whatever life, I truly want to be living. Forgive me for all the ways that I caused you harm. And all the nights that I know you’ve stayed up worrying about me, I’m sorry, please forgive me for all those sleepless nights. For the ways that I hurt you knowingly and unknowingly. And I forgive you. I forgive you for not being there. All the time that I need you to be there. I forgive you for staying with dad when I knew that that wasn’t the best choice for you and feeling angry at you for choosing to stay with him, instead of having the courage to leave. I forgive you for just the anger that I felt when I felt like you weren’t owning yourself worth. I love you so much. I forgive you for all the ways that you’ve harmed and unknowingly harmed me in my life and all the. Just all the way. I have so much forgiveness for you. And so much love for you so much gratitude for you in my life. And I release you. And I’m so grateful to have love in your life in a way that feels good and nourishing to you. And I hold the prayer and just hold the vision that you know you spend the rest of your life and the rest of your years on this planet, in peace. And I’m complete.

Lucy Dawn (Mom): Okay. There are only 4 people on this earth who are able to call me mother. And I just take such a deep honor. You are the fourth child, and when I was pregnant with you. Amy was still a baby. She was about a year old. We didn’t have any money; your father didn’t have a job. And we were living with the gram and grandpa. And I was ashamed and embarrassed. I was just mortified that a child would not feel wanted and I was just heartbroken because I felt at that time that it wasn’t going to be possible, and it’s one of my deepest regrets. I’d like to say that you wanted and needed to be born. And you pushed your way into this world, I didn’t push you, you pushed your way into this world. And you have been a teacher for me since the very first time I laid eyes on you and you made your way into our family. And when you were an infant a newborn you were quiet.

You didn’t cry very much. You didn’t cause too much commotion and I felt like it was because you knew that we were all just kind of hanging on by our fingernails. As you were the third child that I had in four and a half years. So, there were many, many things, many things going on. So, I would like you to forgive me for that. There were times that I felt that I just, it wasn’t because it was you, it was just, I just felt like I couldn’t handle the responsibility. The extra pressure. All those, all those, all those things. So, I want you to forgive me for that. I know that you’ve struggled with that from time to time. And, of course, once you were a known entity to me and to us and to your brothers and to your sister. Well, when there was no going back to me and we’ve made it through that, so I want you to forgive me for that because I feel like the things that I did that needed forgiving happened even before you were born.

Laura Dawn: You know, I just want to share that, you know Mahina, when I had a powerful ceremony where I went into like some really core trauma, around, just not belonging, and I called my mother after that ceremony, the next day and she told me for the first time I really asked her, you know like what is there, and she told me for the first time that she was planning on aborting me and there was a moment she went into the clinic, and she went to abort me, and then decided to keep me, and it was through the plant medicines that really going into that, that memory of it, and I knew something was there but it was the first time I’d never known that, that story. And so, I have been working around that place of forgiving you for that. The plant medicines have really helped me and some of these prayers of Ho’o’pono’pono.

Lucy Dawn (Mom): I also want you to forgive me for not being present for you in many ways. When I decided to go back to school and did all of that and when I was struggling with my marriage and all the energy that took up and it took away from all of you. Yeah, it was, we were all pretty much on our own floating on a life raft, that we are all in our own quarters. And, you know, but so that definitely makes me sad because I can’t go back and fix it. I can’t go back and reclaim that time. And so, I’m asking you to forgive me for that. And for all the things that I’ve done. The judgments, that as you said the things seen and unseen, the thoughts, the criticisms. So, the thing that I want you to know that I feel angry and it’s worst that you’re so far away. I haven’t seen you, I don’t even know when was the last time I’ve seen you in the flesh. In front of me, I missed you, my arms miss you. My body misses you. So many times, I feel like there’s a ghost in our family because whenever we get together, you’re not there.

It’s very interesting Mahina because my mother, we talk about generational trauma, my mother had a similar experience with my sister. My sister moved far away, and she was never, ever, ever a part of my family and our family, and my mother always had this little sadness in her she was able to be happy and she enjoyed our presence but there was always a little piece of sadness that our family wasn’t always together. Or wasn’t together.

But I do feel that I would rather you be away and living the life that you want to live than being here and not living the life that you want to live. So, I accept that. I accept it. And I do, I do accept it, it’s part of our relationship, it’s part of our experience. I’m just so proud of you, you taught me so, so, so, so much. You’ve taught me that you can, create what you want in life, you can create the life that you want, and that we are free to do that if we choose that. And so, I’m very grateful for that and it impacts my life on a daily basis.

So, I do, I love you. You know that. And I do release you from things that have happened in the past, I’m kind of grateful to only learned about some of the stuff that you did. Well, when you’re well into your adult years. So, I kind of released myself from that knowledge. But I love you and I release you, and I am blessed to know that you release me. And I thank you, I thank you for who you are. Amen.

Laura Dawn: I do forgive you. I do forgive you for all of those. Those things so I’m in that place of belonging in my own heart. Thank you. Mahina, would you like to add anything?

Mahina Nani: Thank you guys for opening your hearts to each other. You just feel the release and you feel the energy that is now pumping through both of you. And it’s so beautiful to witness. You guys, tears of happiness and I want to go downstairs right now and talk to my mom. Because we just thrash each other. Thank you both for showing up and doing this work, because it just ripples out to all the generations [inaudible1:08:22]. You know, we don’t want to survive anymore, we want to thrive. And this. We’re all part of the soul groups. And we have to honor each member in a soul group.

Laura Dawn: Thank you. Thank you for your time. I really appreciate you and the teachings you carry and I’m so grateful for these teachings too, they played such a big role in my life, as well.

Mahina Nani: Yeah, for sure. So, really quick so if you do it with like a group of people most times, we hope. And when somebody talks, because it was like a problem that comes up and you know the person with the problem has to, you know, they have the floor so nobody can interrupt them. And then when they talk straight to the person, you know, please forgive me and then yeah right there they go yes, I forgive you. So, it’s an answering right back. And then you pour out your heart, and they’re able to forgive you, just how you guys work so it’s perfect and beautiful. Good job.

Laura Dawn: Thank you. This was sweet. Mahalo. Mahalo. Yeah, there’s a different kind of podcast episode, going out on this one.

Mahina Nani: You guys make me happy I’m like okay this is it. Let’s do this.

Laura Dawn: Oh, so sweet. All right.

Mahina Nani: Okay, I’ll talk to you soon.

Laura Dawn: All right. Aloha.

Hi friends, thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of the psychedelic leadership podcast. This truly felt like a special one. And I just want to say thank you to my mom for having the courage to come and share in this Ho’o’pono’pono practice with me. And I also want to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas out there doing such an amazing job raising these future generations, and I don’t think I’m ever going to be a mother. On this path, I don’t think that that’s my path. But I have so much respect for women who do choose that. And if you’d like to be in touch with me, please feel free to reach out through my website live free Laura D dot com or send me a message on Instagram at live free Laura D. I’d love for you to tune in to the weekly conversations that we’re hosting on Clubhouse and you can find me at, you guessed it, live free Laura D. I’m going to leave you with this really special song that feels like a perfect fit for ending today’s episode called Ho’o’pono’pono by my dear sister, Mary ISIS. Once again, my name is Laura Dawn, and you’re listening to the psychedelic leadership podcast. Until next time.

Mahinanani Laughlin Biography​

Mahina Nani was born into an ancient Hawaiian bloodline of healers centuries of years old. I learned from my family at a very young age to trust and be fearless, which has given me a profound feeling of peace and inner knowing. The space that I cultivate is one that encourages each individuals full vitality. She is dedicated wholeheartedly to humanity, and discovering our divine purpose. It is her honor to walk side-by-side with you. Through her continual connection with divine and earthly teachers, she has been enlightened at this time in her life to share the many gifts passed down to her. They have been the foundation that have helped her to navigate and stay fluid in this unpredictable world. Through ancient techniques of healing and forgiveness, prayer and meditation, I am happy to help us awaken our hearts and set a course as a conscious collective. 

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Featured Music

Episode #22 of the Psychedelic Leadership Podcast features a song called Ho’o’pono’pono by my dear medicine sister Mary Isis.

2 Comments


Dawn Joy
May 5, 2021 at 2:40 pm
Reply

Thank You so much Laura Dawn for this episode.
It was so so beautiful.

Mahalo and Aloha from Kaua’i
❤️🌈


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